"There were lots of opportunities in Afghanistan before the war and we could do things. We were a very happy family with no problems. We had everything even if our society was different. The war has made things very bad. Since 9/11 and the Americans going in things have begun to improve every year but I never want to go back. My past is too bad to remember.
I left Afghanistan 8 ½ years ago during the war. It was really horrible my father was arrested, it was so bad I had to go. At first I went under cover from age 16 to 18. Yes I did become involved. It doesn’t matter about age in Afghanistan if you can carry a gun ,even if you are aged 8, then that’s it. I had no other choice. I was sleeping rough under bushes, I didn’t rest or eat.
I had heard about England but that was all, I never thought I would come here. I arrived in Dover, I had never heard of London, I didn’t know what the people looked like. I lived in Manchester for 1 ½ years and then moved on to Nottingham.
As an illegal I was okay for a little time and had some support from the social services and NASS for refugees.Government then said I must stop working, that I cannot claim benefits. That’s why I have problems and get depressed. I lost my accommodation I was asked to leave. It happened while I was working, when I could have cash and buy my meals.
All the time things were hard. I had no English language and could not have a conversation. Going to a shop to buy things was very hard. I don’t understand the system. So I found myself back on the streets. Sometime I felt really mental. It’s really difficult to survive on the street. I met many British people on the streets but not many refugees. It’s a very long story and I got into all sorts of trouble trying to survive in the UK.
I have ‘Indefinite leave’ now means that I can work and do anything.
I got some support from an organisation called ‘Restore’ They helped me over a couple of years. They helped me to get my status last year and then I got help from Waldrow Road Refugee Centre in Birmingham. They booked me an appointment at St Basils Link. I went along and then got a further interview where they took all my details. They checked them and my documents, asked me all sorts of questions about my papers and leave to stay, told me what benefits I can get and why I am here and where was I living now. I was staying in shared house with 5 other people, there was no gas and electric and people were doing all sorts of things like drink and drugs.
They sent me to Milner Court on the same day and after 28 days which is the time allowed I was referred to Conybere Gardens.
It is really nice here. It’s a large bedsit and I have my own front door, bathroom and kitchen, I don’t have to share it with anyone, it is like real independence. I don’t have to share my kitchen. It is really difficult when you share with other people, keeping things clean and not getting involved in drink and drugs.
Now I have to face the future. I have no education, no certificates or qualifications. I have problems with writing and struggle with spelling.I want to get educated but I need qualifications to do even that! I sometimes feel that my whole life up to age 24 has been totally wasted I have nothing. ‘Zero’. I have lost all my memories, my home, my family. It is very hard for me. I was a very strong person years ago, I am not so strong now. I had never been out of my country. I feel like I have just arrived.
I try to think ahead and my brain can’t deal with it all. I’ve got to start all over again. I want to get into college. I am a quick learner. When I was a small boy I wanted to be an artist or designer. I like drawing. It is so difficult I just didn’t get the chance.
I will do factory work and supermarket work to help me to get on. I have good memory for numbers and like messing about with things and taking them apart and putting them back together. I can do hairdressing, painting and decorating, bricklaying, I am not so sure about plastering that’s a bit specialised.
I’ve got a few good friends, a family near Bromsgrove who I go to on Sunday. We go to church together and then have Sunday dinner afterwards, I really love the family, I call the mother mom and I draw things with the little girl, she has given me a framed picture that she drew for me which hangs on my wall. I will always stay friends with them.
Here I am a normal person and that is what I want to be. I don’t want to be a famous celebrity or a millionaire. I want to be just normal with no problems or troubles. I could have ended up in a prison or committed suicide, but I kept on fighting not to do drink or drugs otherwise I would be dead or in prison.
Now I think I am born in this country, I learn everything here not Afghanistan. I will forget everything completely except for my family.
I am happy to live here, the staff are good people they are lovely. I am very happy in a way. I just have to think about everything, getting training, a job, driving licence. Then I hope that with a long term job I will be able to get long term accommodation to move on to.
